Purchasing Torpedo

So you've decided to take the plunge and buy a copy of the Quarterly, but here's the thing - you're worried we are secretly a Nigerian bank employee who will perform nefarious deeds with your credit card details, start spamming you with MegaElbow emails ('Is your elbow so small your wife can hardly feel it when you nudge her in the ribs - try new MegaElbow and become a real man!') or destroy your family's reputation by implicating your great-grandfather in the murder of Abraham Lincoln (when oh when will Nic Cage call it a day?). Never fear, dear prospective Torpedo reader. One click on the checkout will take you to our Paypal store, which if you didn't know is owned by eBay. If you don't have a Paypal account with which to pay, they accept credit cards of all nature and colours. We live in ignorance of your online goings-on, and only receive an email from Paypal telling us that huzzah! Some kind gentleman or lady has just purchased a copy of Torpedo and you must mail it to them immediately. So you can rest easy in the knowledge that your family's reputation as treasure hunters is secured, and if your missus can't feel your elbow, try nipping her. Here is a picture of someone who chose not to buy Torpedo.